We think your kid is pretty special. Without having even met your young one we can say that with some certainty, because we know for sure that your child and their classmates are among the first children in human history to enjoy their entire lives as rights holders.

The rights your child enjoys are outlined in the Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC), which Canada ratified in 1991. All children under the age of 18 are guaranteed the right to life, survival, and development; to have their best interests looked after, to be meaningfully engaged, all without discrimination of any kind. There are 54 articles in the convention and they can be sorted under 4 basic pillars:

1) the right to be safe

2) the right to be healthy

3) the right to be heard

4) the right to be yourself

The UNCRC marks an amazing change in the way we view children and childhood. For example, during the industrial revolution children were expected to work in dangerous conditions. Kids were often viewed by society as a nuisance, and were merely small, future adults. We now understand how precious and important childhood is.

The UNCRC represents one of the most thorough and well-researched documents on what makes a healthy child. It balances protecting children from harm, acknowledges childhood vulnerability, but also recognizes children as capable humans who can and must have a say in matters that affect them. These rights ensure that children will not only have a healthy childhood but at each stage of their development will learn the tools to leading a successful life in adulthood, all with the help of an adult community who are looking after their best interest.

This year we are pleased to let you know that during this school year, your child will be learning about their rights, in the classroom and at home with you. They will learn about their rights and responsibilities—both as a child and as a global citizen. Throughout the year we will occasionally send home short and engaging homework assignments for parents and children to do together. We will also continually provide you with supports and information. Check back here for the rest of the school year for new articles and information to support you as a parent.

A common concern around child rights is that children will interpret their rights irresponsibly and want a “right”.

The United Nations Convention on the Rights of Children is an amazing document that gives children protections and provisions that children previously in history have not benefitted from.

For example Article 12 of the UNCRC says that children have the right to express their views in matters that affect them, but this does NOT give kids authority over adults. The article is about encouraging all adults (not just parents) to listen to the opinions of children and involve them in decision-making.

When you involve children in decision-making in a way that is appropriate to a child’s level of maturity, you are modeling decision-making skills that will help them throughout their lives. Regularly invite children into family decision-making that is appropriate for their age.

For example, when you are deciding where your family will spend holiday time, invite your child into your decision making process. They will benefit from learning how you make your decision. Will you travel by air or car? Is your destination safe? Does everyone in the family have appropriate clothing for the climate where you’re travelling? Will there be a budget for the trip. Having your child involved in these types of decisions helps them learn what goes into planning and sound decision-making. This is an opportunity to give your child a say in family affairs. This doesn’t mean that they will get to plan the family holiday, but rather they get to participate.

Children and youth also have the right to be involved in legal matters. Parents, social workers, immigration workers, judges, lawyers, and teachers are also obligated to consult children on matters that affect them to help make decisions that are in the best interest.

At the end of the day, it’s about children getting a say, not getting their way and valuing the capacity of children to be a meaningful part of the world around them.

At our school we teach children about their rights because it helps them succeed in school and in life. When children learn about their rights research* finds:

• There is a decline in bullying and less classroom disruption

• Children demonstrate more positive conflict resolution skills with their peers and with adults

• Children show greater concern for themselves, each other and children in other parts of the world

• Children are more likely to use higher order thinking**

• Children are less likely to be excluded

• Children are more likely to attend school

• Children learn the rights and responsibilities of citizenship, both as a Canadian and as a global citizen who contributes positively to the world

(adapted from UNICEF Rights Respecting Schools Brochure)

The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child requires that children, as well as adults, know about the rights described within it. Schools are the logical place to reach the vast majority of children.

Does teaching children’s rights take time away from other classes? No. Children’s rights are not taught as a separate course. The children’s rights curriculum blends with existing classes in social studies, health, and personal development. Some teachers have also adapted the activities for use in math and other classes.

What are children learning about their rights? Children learn what the rights are, the difference between rights and wants, and how to uphold (respect) the rights of others. This can be taught in different ways depending on the child’s grade. The goal of the children’s rights curriculum achieving their potential and being responsible citizens.

*According to the research of Katherine Covell and Brian Howe, researchers at the Children’s Rights Centre at Cape Breton University

**Higher order thinking means thinking outside of the box. It means connecting ideas, making predictions, and evaluations. One way you can help encourage higher order thinking is to ask your child questions while you read or watch TV together. Instead of asking “what colour was Billy’s hair” you can ask, “why do you think Billy behaved that way?” or “what would you do in that situation” or “do you think that commercial we just watched is making true claims?”

We gratefully acknowledge Drs. Covell and Howe for their research and contributions to this article. 

We’ve shared with you a lot about the rights of children but what about the specific rights of parents?

Fears about rights. For parents, it’s a common fear that children, armed with the knowledge that they have rights will use the knowledge like a weapon and try to use their rights “against” their parents.

It’s about respect. Rest assured, the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child repeatedly upholds the important role parents have in the lives of children and says that governments must respect the responsibility of parents for providing guidance to their children.

Specifically, the Convention supports:

• Parents/caregivers in raising their children. (Article 5)
• Child connecting with their nationality, name and family (Article 8.1)
• How important it is for children to be raised by their parents whenever possible. (Article 7.1)
• Parents to guide the religious development of their children. (Article 14)
• The responsibility both parents have in raising their children. (Article 18)

It’s about respect. The Convention is clear that children have the responsibility to respect the rights of others. Children tend to understand this. If they want their rights respected, they know they must also respect the rights of others. One of the aims of a child rights education is the development of respect for everyone and their values and culture.

As human beings we all have rights and with those rights come responsibilities. When it comes to children’s rights, the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the child outlines the following responsibilities:

For children: the responsibility to respect the rights of others.

For parents: to respect and provide for the rights of their children.

For governments: to support families and to respect and provide for the rights of children through laws, policies and special programs.

Here’s a helpful chart to help you have conversations with your child about their rights and responsibilities.

Be Safe

The right to be safe means I need:

• Protection from harm, including protection from discrimination
• To be treated with respect
• At least 5 adults who love me

My right to be safe gives me the responsibility to:

• Know who I can ask for help
• Follow the rules
• Be aware of my surroundings
• Take care of the things around me
• Help others

Be Healthy

The right to be healthy means I need to:

• Play and be active
• Learn and find out things
• Spend time in nature
• Spend time with family and my friends
• Receive the best health care possible, including special help if I need it

My right to be healthy gives me the responsibility to:

• Play safely and play fair
• Take care of my body and let it rest
• Use my words when I am upset
• Keep my community, home, and school clean
• Make good choices about what I eat

Be Heard

My right to be heard means I need to:

• Have a say (not my way) in decisions that affect me
• Be listened to, and be taken seriously
• Ask for, and receive help
• Learn about my rights

My right to be heard gives me the responsibility to:

• Honour my commitments
• Cooperate with others
• Be honest and respectful
• Apologize when I make a mistake

Be Yourself

the right to be myself means I need to:

• Have my own thoughts, feelings, and reasonable privacy
• Express my ideas respectfully
• Learn about mine and others’ culture, history, and religion
• Be allowed to make mistakes
• Be who I am!

My right to be myself gives me the responsibility to:

• Respect the thoughts, feelings, and reasonable privacy of others
• Be welcoming of others, especially those who need extra help
• Try new things
• Learn from my mistakes

When rugs become deep seas, wood chips become shark teeth, and a pair of pants becomes the body of a snake, you have the foundation of free play. Free play is spontaneous, self-motivated, and totally controlled by children. It is also a key right of every child to have time to play and rest (article 31).

Why is play so important? Free play provides rich opportunities for social, moral, and emotional development. It provides unique opportunities for kids to develop their own personality and increase their ability to handle stress and conflict. It is in free play that children learn to understand and co-operate with others. Free play may be the best way for children to truly express themselves and learn the skills they need for success in life.

Does free play make my child smarter? Yes! Neuroscientists tell us that free play creates new pathways in the brain that expand creative and intellectual capabilities.

Scientists have also found that children who participate in free play tend to be more intelligent, more creative, and happier than children who do not participate in free, unstructured play.

How do I support play? As an adult, it is your job to create opportunities for free play. It’s important to support your child rather than direct your child.

This can mean taking your child outside into all kinds of different natural environments. It can mean letting them interact with new friends, providing non-traditional play equipment (like hay stacks, milk crates, logs, mud, etc.) that will challenge your child.

It’s also important to keep in mind that organized sports and music lessons cannot be confused with play. These are activities that are organized and directed by adults. Organized activities definitely have their own benefits, but they can never replace the vital benefits of free play.

It is the nature of children to question and challenge, but it is our role as adults to teach children the relationship between rights and responsibilities. If your child challenges you with knowledge of their rights in a way that is inappropriate, be heartened this is a normal part of learning the difference between rights, needs, and wants.

A child may want a sweet snack and say that they have the right to food. This is an example of a child being confused with their wants and rights. This is an opportunity to talk about how being a parent means that you have the responsibility to look out for their well-being, and spoiling a dinner appetite would not serve in upholding their rights.

How can I support the rights of my child at home? As with most things, the learning of rights, respect, and responsibility begins at home. Children learn what they see and hear.

By becoming involved in your child’s learning and showing an interest in who he/she is and what he/she is doing, you help your child learn the importance of giving and sharing with others.

Here are some tips:

• Set boundaries, routines, and rules. Children need to know what is expected of them. Having clear expectations also makes it easier to reward the child for goodbehaviour and let them learn what behaviours aren’t respectful.
• Give your child choices rather than commands. For example, ‘Would you like to brush your teeth before you get your pajamas on or after?’ This empowers children and avoids a power struggle.
• If your child interrupts you, you can balance their right to be heard with their responsibility to let others be heard by saying ‘I know you have something important to say. I want to listen. Please wait until I’m finished so I can give you all of my attention.’
• Ignore unwanted behaviours and reward wanted behaviours. Children sometimes misbehave to get attention. Ignore misbehaviours unless someone is getting hurt. Give your child attention for good behaviours and you encourage your child to repeat them. When you need to respond to misbehaviour use a time-out or take away a privilege.
• Criticize the behaviour, not the child. Explain what you don’t like about the behaviour and why you don’t like it. Avoid criticizing the child. For example, ‘When you leave your coat on the floor it gets dirty and I am afraid someone will trip on it and fall’, rather than saying ‘you are such a messy kid.’
• Have family meetings. Explain the issues and let everyone discuss the problems together to reach mutually satisfactory solutions to conflicts.

Being a parent is a big job, possibly the toughest job out there! But there are lots of organizations and materials out there to support you!

What do I do if I have questions? Everyone has parenting questions and nobody is a perfect parent. That’s why we love BC Council for Families parenting programs. You can learn all about them at www.bccf.ca. They provide free, non-judgmental parenting programs for parents with children of all ages.

In these courses you will learn about;

1. Effective ways to discipline
2. How to keep your child safe on the internet
3. Resolving conflicts
4. How to talk about puberty and relationships, and more!

We also recommend checking out BC 211. This is a listing of community organizations from every stripe. If you have a particular concern or challenge as a parent, search BC 211 to find organizations that might be able to support you.

Talking to other parents: The Power of Networking

A recent project in Richmond talked to low-income parents about what it’s like to get by and provide for their families without a lot of income. During the parent interviews it became clear that the best resources available out there for parents are other parents.

The parents were full of ideas on where to find the best deals on bikes, shoes, who has the best value on produce, where to go for the best parenting classes, and more.

Never hesitate to learn from fellow parents or share an incredible resource you’ve discovered without judgment.

This not only builds community, but it grows the collective strength of parents to be the best parents we can be for our children.